Love as a Transaction
This is why we must be careful when giving our love away. Why do we feel we love someone? Let's hope it is not an egoic need, the need to feel loved, the need to not be alone, the need to not look like the loser without a partner, etc. Many people do not choose a partner and are anything but losers. But our egos are liars, and will convince us of anything that will get them fed. So we rush into a wrong relationship, believing it is love, hoping it is, wishing it to be so, only to be hurt in the end. Again. And again. This is because our ego can never lead us into true love, and it will always result in failed relationships.
But there is a better way. A truer way. Our true self, our life force, our spirit, whatever name you choose for it, it will lead us to love if that is what we desire. But we can't need it, or long for it, we must simply and patiently know it will come when the timing is right. There is no room for ego, for that will blind us to our spirit. Our 'feelings' and our 'gut instinct' will become confused. First, we must let go of ego where love is concerned. It will come to us when we are ready, and when the best partner for us is also ready at the same time. We will meet, and it may seem to be by accident.
So now that we've met and fallen in love, how does love work? How is it a transaction? Relationships are full of transactions. The man mows the lawn, and the woman empties the dishwasher, or perhaps its the other way around. What matters is each contributes. It's like a joint bank account, but using the energy of giving, rather than the energy of money. But this is not yet love, we are only scratching the surface of what a relationship is.
When we love another person, fully, from our heart and soul, we give of ourselves in a way that is incomparable to any other form of giving. We might even be willing to give our very life if it were necessary. Ideally, our partner feels the same. In fact, the more we can recognize true love being given to us, the more we want to give it back in greater measure. This is rare, but it is the transaction I am talking about. Each gives 100% to one another, yet they receive more. They become more than the 100% they were before loving this way. They are investing their very life force into one another, and it makes each grow as an individual spirit, filled with even more love, more wisdom, more kindness, and more of every other good thing a person can be. In a relationship or marriage, we can exchange shallow kindness, money, a home, intimacy, a family and yet miss out on this. Or we can exchange our very selves, choosing to give and take, in a transaction of love that reaches our very core.