Love and Self-Pity

You might not immediately think of love and self-pity as opposites, or that one can eliminate the other. But while we have a pretty good understanding of what love is, do we really understand self-pity? Let's assume we all have essentially the same status in life, the same health, possessions, love from others, etc. While one person may choose to acknowledge the love shown towards them, and develop a healthy self-love, the other somehow blocks love. Instead, they choose to believe they are not being treated fairly, or loved equally, or in some other way left out.

This person may win a lottery, but feel that they ought to have won more. They may have a home, a job, even a spouse, but deep inside they wish for better - for more - simply because they let a chain of belief break inside. What is this chain of belief? It starts with the belief that they are loved. Loved by the Universe who created them, loved by parents, a spouse, family. At first they may only think thoughts of being unloved, but then they begin to feel it. Soon they stop loving themselves, because if everyone else deems them unlovable, it must be true. Next in the chain, the ego chimes in and tells them how unfair all of this is. Soon they begin to feel left out and mistreated, and so they unknowingly take the position at the head of the line as the one not loving themselves.

But in reality, they are loved by the Universe, by family and friends. Yet they can't feel it, so they can't reciprocate and they slowly become less loveable. They then begin to complain. Why me? Why am I treated so badly? Why can't I love myself? Why was I born so unlovable when othes obviously deserve better? They have reached the end of the chain, the farthest point away from love. But all they need to do is back up and realize that they ARE loved, they ARE being treated fairly, it was just their ego talking, and they can begin to perceive their self-worth and love themselves again. This, in turn, allows them to reciprocate love towards others in their life. Do you know someone deep in self-pity? Maybe you can help them to see that they are worthy of self-love, and that others do indeed love them. Maybe they can see what was only their ego speaking, and reach deeper to that place of love that we all have within.